Monday, June 17, 2013

A more Christlike Mama

Being a mom is by far the most difficult thing I have ever done. For several reasons, but a really big one is that I see so much in myself that needs to change. Having little kids around is like having a mirror in front of your heart all day long (and even more so in the middle of the night). I have so much learning and growing to do, and as I teach my kids lessons and see them learning and growing, I'm right there with them. One of the things I've been working through lately is being willing to give up my desires. When little Sunshine was born it was so amazing and precious and wonderful to have a baby and yet I was surprised that I didn't just instantly stop thinking about myself and only want to meet this child's needs 24/7. I didn't just spring out of bed at 3am, thrilled to cuddle my screaming baby and spend the next 2 hours trying to calm her down. I see some people with kids that just delight in caring for every single detail of their kids' lives, as much as I admire those people, I always thought that just kinda happened when they popped out. I figured it was just part of being a mom, along the lines of "once you're a mom you will hear every little noise in your sleep" or "you'll know exactly what to do when the time comes." Well I am going to host a mini episode of "Mythbusters" today, because NONE of those happened to me when Sunshine was born. Or when Sugar came along. Maybe there was some Magic Mama shot they forgot to give me before I checked out at the hospital, but I am pretty sure it is a little deeper than that. Ready for what I've figured out?! Human nature doesn't change instantly. Even when something good happens, like having a baby or getting married. Shocker, I know. I can't believe I still want to watch a show occasionally. Or sit down and not get up for 30 minutes. Or do a craft that doesn't involve stickers and construction paper. Etc, etc. Those desires haven't gone away and inwardly I struggle to give them up sometimes when my kids need me. I poured my heart out to the Lord today because I know this is something I have to learn, then I continued reading through 2 Corinthians and I'm in chapter 9 today. In verses 6-15 Paul is talking about a financial contribution to the point of sacrifice, but it seemed to just jump out at me and I applied it to sacrifices we make as moms. Here it is (ESV, words in parenthesis mine) 2 Cor 9:6-15 "The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give (up his desires) as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency (or contentment) in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. As it is written, 'He has distributed freely, he has given to the poor; his righteousness endures forever.' He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing(time and energy) and increase the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God. For the ministry of this service(mothering) is not only supplying the needs of the saints (or my children) but is also overflowing in many thanksgivings to God. By their approval of this service, they will glorify God because of your submission flowing from your confession of the gospel of Christ, and the generosity of your contribution for them and for all others (my husband too), while they long for you and pray for you because of the surpassing grace of God upon you. Thanks be to God for his inexpressible gift!" This was SOOOOO motivating and encouraging to me! THIS is why I can be willing and cheerful to give up what I want again and again. So that I may become more like Christ and teach my children to be more like Him, and to learn to depend on HIM to supply my needs. As I meet my kids needs, He meets mine. He gives grace that enables me to be content, and increases the harvest of righteousness in my heart. I will be enriched so that I may be generous - whatever I have is mine to share. My ministry is to supply their needs and also to teach them to be thankful when their needs are met - not to thank me, but GOD. The end goal/result? They will glorify God because of (my)submission and generosity, which comes only from my confession of the gospel of Christ!! I pray that they would see the surpassing grace of God in me. That is my hearts desire, and this is how I can take another step toward it! Lord, help me to be a more Christlike mama every day! And now I'm off to clean up a spilled drink of the floor and table and little miss Sugar... for the second time today. :)