Learning a lesson the hard way

Have you ever pointed a finger just to discover its pointing about 180* the wrong direction? Yeah, me too. Today, actually. And the worst part is I didn't realize it until it was too late. Way too late. Have you ever felt like you just want to crawl in a hole and stay there for a couple... Oh, weeks, months, or years? Yep, me too. Today, actually. About 1.2 seconds after said discovery.
God is showing me little by little that I am do not have a very teachable spirit. And today he kinda just smacked me upside the head with the awareness of how seriously I need to set aside my belief that my way is best whether it's something silly (like butt paste - don't ask) or something much deeper. I have not arrived, I have soooooo much to learn and I am not above learning from anyone. I don't really believe any of that when I stop to think about it, but I live that way when people offer suggestions or ask me if I want to listen to this amazing sermon they heard. I need to accept these offers as encouragement and so often I just think "what's wrong with me the way I am?" (or "what's wrong with the _________ I have?" - diaper cream, version of the Bible, fill in the blank.) That is my human nature, and I want to be a new creature - one that looks like Christ. How thankful I am that He didn't say "what's wrong with My form?" but instead was willing to humble himself, restrict himself to a body for the rest of eternity and come to earth to suffer and die for me. He didn't consider His way best but submitted to His Fathers will. If God can humble Himself, I most certainly can and should. Isn't that the goal - to know and be like Christ? If not, I'm reading my Bible wrong. :)

I am NOT trying to preach or point at any of you. Neither am I looking for sympathetic responses - "oh you're not prideful," or "don't be too hard on yourself" or any other kind of consolation. I know that I am complete in Him and that He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it (can't WAIT!) and I know learning to be more teachable is what He is asking of me right now. And I hope that when I share my heart that it doesn't come across that I'm judging you or looking for sympathy. I am simply sharing the joy of what God is teaching me and hoping that it will encourage you!

Happy 4 years!!

I love my man!! He took today off and we went up in the mountains yesterday and camped overnight. We drove up (and down and up again) and found the *only* place to camp that was open this early in the year and set up. I'm still not sure if it was private land or what, because everything in the national forest was gated off. Shhhh, don't tell!! :) I will admit, I was a little nervous for some reason about animals, maybe because we've always camped with a group before. But we didn't see a thing and we had a wonderful time talking all the way up (did I mention we went up the same road twice?). No animals, just fire and wind and hot dogs and beautiful views and snow and lots (and lots more) layers. I slept in two pairs of socks, shorts, jeans, tank top, long sleeve shirt, t-shirt, my hoodie, and Dave's hoodie over that. Plus a flannel blanket and sleeping bags that zip together so we can cuddle. (Best Christmas gift ever!) :) It must have worked - I didn't get cold at all! We only took basic stuff to eat - hot dogs and granola bars - because we wanted to spend time with each other and with God. We mostly sat around the fire and read our Bibles together, prayed and talked about what we were reading. Pretty awesome. We have an awesome God and we wanted to spend time getting to know Him and letting His goodness sink in. Best anniversary trip yet - out of three. :)
On a lighter note, there was this cool rock building with no roof and we made good use of it. :) My husband is brilliant - and sweet. No trees for me! Love you, Babe!

My choices = my issues

Ever have those days that you feel like a terrible mom? My kids have been fed and changed and thats about it. I got a slow start and even the slow part didn't kick in til 8:30 or so. Before that nothing was moving at all... Especially me. I'm unusually tired today and I'm not a morning person by nature - I didn't even get a shower til noon. Combined with not wearing my contacts cuz one is bugging me lately, messy house, a temper tantrum and a shortened nap (thanks to the tantrum), and an embarrassing amount of time wasted on my phone, I think I could win the "worst mom" award for the day. But this blog is about processing my feelings and dealing with them and hopefully it will help someone else out too - and of you've ever felt like I do right now, at least you know you're not alone.
I think the biggest thing that bothers me is the wasted time. I played angry birds, facebooked, and pinterested most of the day away. I hate looking back on wasted time. But somehow it's harder to see it happening until its too late.
Another thing I dislike is knowing that because I'm not spending quality time with my kids they have a stronger tendency to ignore and not value me in return - hence the tantrums. I know my child is responsible to obey but it is my responsibility to encourage and nurture that obedient heart. Ugh. Like I said, I'm processing my own issues - not pointing fingers except at myself.
On to issue number three - my kids will learn from my actions more than my words. Ouch. I'm basically giving myself a verbal spanking right now. I think its working tho. When I let a whole day go to waste, I can start fresh tomorrow and praise the Lord His mercies are new every morning, but my daughter is watching me mope around because of decisions I've made and she's learning. That scares me. I want her to learn character qualities like diligence, service for others, integrity, faithfulness and hospitality. Not laziness, self-centeredness, grumpiness, or indifference.

Lord, forgive me for the way I've wasted my time thus far today. It was wrong and i am ashamed. Help me to redeem the rest of today and use it to glorify You. Help me to overcome the small things that easily turn into excuses, and to take my responsibilities from You seriously. Help me to prioritize the things that matter to You. I know my children are a gift from you - help me to be a good steward of every gift. Thank you for fresh mercy every moment as soon as I ask for it. Give me wisdom to know your will and strength to do it. Amen.

Coasters!!

I have seen coasters everywhere and I got really excited cuz I have a tile-guru for a hubby. So I just asked him if he ever had any scraps if he would cut them down to 4x4s and bring them too me. I'm thinking I'll make a set for myself and if there's enough, maybe a set as a gift. This is what he came home with... See picture #1. That's after I've already made two sets. Live his over-achiever personality. He completes me... Or would compensate be a better word? Hmmm, just gonna let that one go. Anyway I went ahead and picked out my scrapbook paper and stickers and grabbed my homemade modge podge (Elmer's glue mixed with water til same consistency as modge podge) and got to work. I modge podged the top of the tile and put the cut pieces of scrapbook paper on it. I left a little overhang - once it dries you can trim the edges. When that dried I kept adding layers - over the next several days. Every time I went in the craft room I added another coat. My homemade modge podge is not glossy and I liked it fine, but you could use the glossy kind or find the recipe for it of you want it. Because my tile wasn't 4x4 to start with, the edges are kinda sharp from being cut down. So I coated the top and the sides every time. I got tired of peeling newspaper off the bottom where it would drop and stick so I figured out that if I put a rubber stamp or two underneath each tile it wouldn't stick. Yay! After a couple weeks and 374 coats of modge podge, I flipped them over and glued felt onto the bottom so they don't scratch furniture. (pic#3) Not that we have furniture that would care if it it scratched... And for that matter we hardly ever use coasters either but we have a really cute set!! And if you feel like making some... Bring your scrapbook paper to my house cuz I have lots of extra tile. :)

Recipe: Stellar teen night

Ingredients:
Fun people
Lots of movies to choose from
Pizza and pop
Bananagrams and apples to apples
Nachos grande
Projector and big white wall
Couches and bean bags
Puppy chow
Someone who quotes all the lines in the movie - while you're watching
Random Mario videos on YouTube
100 billion trips up and down the stairs
Cute little kids running around
Lots of laughter - only a few out of courtesy
A baby gate that no one can operate

Instructions:
Mix together at 70* for 5 hours. Send kids home. Put baby back to bed. Crash and leave cleanup for tomorrow morning. Try to convince yourself that being tired at 11 doesn't mean you're old.
I love our youth group. :)

Must read for moms and wives

A little while ago I decided I needed to start reading more and I finally acted on it. I borrowed a couple of books from a friend on the Proverbs 31 woman, and I chose this one because it seemed the least intimidating. It's called "My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife" by Sara Horn. I picked it up to read a chapter before I went to bed and an hour later I was halfway thru it. I finished it tonight. It was so easy and funny - and real. I related to a lot of the things she talked about and felt a little better about my own struggles to live up to the standard set in Proverbs 31. Even so it was encouraging and deepened my desire to please God and live the way He wants me to. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Meaty manicotti recipe

Um, so I'm gonna just pretend I didn't ignore my blog for the last month and go on like normal... :)
I've made this recipe twice now and I LOVE it!! Mmmmmm!! I can't take credit - its from a Taste of Home book with a few of my personal improvisations. :) i cant make anything exactly like the recipe says. Hope you like it too!!
14 uncooked manicotti shells
1 roll Jimmy Dean sausage - original
1 lb ground turkey or beef
Salt
Minced garlic - a couple tsp of the kind in a jar or 2 cloves
2 c shredded mozzarella cheese
4oz cream cheese
4 c spaghetti sauce
Parmesan cheese
- cool manicotti according to directions on box; drain and rinse with cold water
- meanwhile cook meats, garlic and salt (to taste); drain and let cool
- stir together meat, mozz cheese and cream cheese
- spread half the spaghetti sauce in bottom of 9x13 pan
- stuff each shell with meat mixture, arrange in pan
- pour remaining sauce over shells; sprinkle Parmesan on top
- bake, covered, at 350* for 40 min; uncover and bake 5-10 minutes longer until bubble and heated thru

Tips:
I used lasagna shells once and cut them in half and rolled the meat up in it - way easier than stuffing and trying not to rip the manicotti
I added oregano to the meat cuz Dave likes it :)
I had leftover meat, and I didn't really measure the sauce, I just had a huge jar from Sams, so I had that leftover too - you can cut down the recipe or make extra shells if you want; I'm gonna put it all together and eat it on noodles for supper tonight
I made it once with just ground elk meat - it was a lot spicier but it was really good
Ignore that the plate in the pic isn't mine. No, I would never take a picture of the picture in my recipe book just because I forgot to take one when I made it... *fingers crossed behind my back*!!
Maybe tomorrow I'll post the cheesy onion breadsticks I made to go with this. :)

Mmmmmmmm - enjoy!!!